Do you make yourself small to fit into boxes others have labeled and taped shut for you?

Have you been told or made to feel that you are “too much,” “too big,” “too fragile,” “breakable,” “not capable,” “not smart enough,” “not pretty enough,” “not good enough,” “damaged,” “broken,” “the wrong color,” “the wrong size,” “the wrong gender,” the list goes on….

Do you make yourself small, seem dumb, incompetent, or less than your true self, in any way, to fit into an ideal that someone else has set for you? Maybe it’s a romantic or family relationship; a work environment; a friendship; or any other frequent interaction that boxes you up or fences you in.

If you do this; if you are a shape-shifter to appease someone else, you are not alone. When you make exceptions for your personality and character traits, to be liked, accepted, or to keep the peace, you are making concessions to someone else. This someone can be a critic or even an aggressor. When you do this you sacrifice your principles.

For some this is a way of life. Some of us are chameleons; ever changing what we “believe” or how we act to suit those around us. If one has a low self-esteem or is anti-confrontational- a peacemaker; or is being abused and MADE to act differently than they desire, they will make themselves small and quiet enough to fit into any box that feels safe.

What can you do if you find yourself in a box that you don’t belong in? Or about to allow yourself to be put in and taped shut:

1. Know your values, and stay true to them

2. Confront the discomfort and your fears

3. Move away from the familiar; step outside of your comfort zone

4. Stand your ground and be OK with disapproval

This is the perfect segue to the next blog: Boundaries….coming soon.