grief: What’s love got to do with it?

Love intertwines with Grief

Now that we know what grief is, (see previous blog post) we can dive into why we experience it and why it hurts so much.

“What’s love got to do with it?” Well, Ms. Tina Turner, I believe love has everything to do with it. Is love what makes the world go ‘round? Is it love that propels humanity? Is love the root from which grief grows?

If yes; then grief cannot happen without love. Grief and love are each a side of a two-sided coin. One’s ability to grieve or mourn depends on their capacity to love; their ability to give and receive love.

Whether you are grieving the loss of someone you loved, the loss of something you loved, the loss of not receiving love, the loss of anticipated love, unrequited love, the loss of loving anything/anyone, the loss of being loved by anyone/anything, love is at the core.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary definitions:

Love: Noun- “strong affection for another arising out of

kinship or personal ties”

Verb- “to hold dear”

Loss: “the act or fact of being unable to keep or maintain

something or someone”

When we say that someone is grieving or even think of grief, for the most part, we think of the loss of a loved one. We think about a spouse, parent, child, friend, family member, mentor, etc., passing away in death and leaving a void in our lives. We think about the love that was present between them and the person/people left behind.

What about the loss of someone or a relationship that was not based on love but the lack of love? This is the reality for some. It is the basis for their grief. When a child, for example, is not loved by a parent and they are removed from that situation, they may experience grief. It is the loss of the potential. It is the loss of what they are used to. It is the loss of someone they perhaps loved who did not love them in return. But it is based in love and their understanding of it and their capacity to love and feel the lack of it.

All relationships end in one way or another; death or choice (by one or all involved). Grieving and feeling the loss depends on the depth of love that was felt in the relationship; or the love that was desired. With divorce or any relationship ending, because based on love, it will cause grief when it ends even if both parties want it. It is a loss.

For those that have lost love, grief is their final act of affection. We grieve because we are able to love. Loving + losing= grief.

…to be continued.

P.S. My latest Children’s book is about death and grief for children