I became a nurse because it seemed liked the perfect combination of caregiving, math and science. I love learning pathophysiology as well as about human behavior. I love doing the activities of nursing: anything with tubes, wires, syringes, and dressing changes. I like participating in comfort for patients and in helping them to heal.

As with so many things, I went in thinking I was going to touch lives in a meaningful way, and I am the one who is touched and taught daily.

Top Ten Lessons from patients:

10. Don’t call patients pet names or adjectives. I have always been somewhat offended by pet names for strangers. I don’t enjoy hearing others call patients “honey” or “sweetheart” etc. so I don’t do that, but I got schooled one day a long time ago and I have never forgotten it. I had helped a patient back to bed and she thanked me and then asked me something and I laughed as a response and said, “No silly that won’t happen.” She changed her tone and said “Don’t call me silly.” I immediately realized how demeaning that was and haven’t done it since.

9. Don’t assume patients know what you are talking about. Most patients don’t have a medical background. As nurses we use and understand a whole bunch of jargon that a lay-person will not understand. Even saying “I’m going to get your vitals.” means nothing to most people. But if we say “I am going to get your vital signs, your blood pressure, etc.” Then they know what we are saying. Don’t use abbreviations or acronyms with patients for things that are common for us; and explain what you are doing and WHY.

8. A patient’s pain is what they say it is. The 0-10 pain scale is very subjective. It is very hard for patient’s to rate their pain and the rating one person gives their pain may be an entirely different number for someone else. If a patient says their pain is a 10, believe them. Don’t question them, compare them, or heaven forbid, not believe them. You treat the pain that they describe. Period. (same goes for nausea)

7. Leave your judgements and prejudices at the door. Humans have pre-conceived notions about EVERYTHING: color, race, gender identity, religion, politics, body size, elective procedures, and on and on. As humans, nurses have to leave all that on the other side of their nursing care. Each. Every. All. Deserve the utmost dignified care and compassion. We treat every one that we touch the same. Some people are easier to take care of, that’s no secret. Some people are fun and easy to interact with while others make you grind your teeth while you are smiling. Some get on our every nerve and others are too sweet to fathom. Yet they all deserve to be treated well.

6. Patients have feelings. We aren’t working on an assembly line making widgets. We are taking care of human beings. Even if our patients are unconscious, we need to treat them as though they are awake and aware: don’t talk about personal things to other staff members in front of patients, speak to patients kindly, be gentle when turning, changing, or preforming tasks. Another instance I am aware of patients’s feeling is when I have to remind myself that even though I clean up incontinent accidents all the time, it may be the first time a patient has ever had to have someone wipe their bottom since they were a baby. It’s humiliating for most and if I say to them that it’s no big deal I do it all the time, that doesn’t make them feel better because for them it is new and embarrassing.

5. Be flexible. At work I am highly organized and rather intense with my plan of action. As soon as I think I know how the shift is going to go, it goes sideways. Again, we are dealing with people and their status can change at the drop of a hat.

4. Laughter is the best medicine. Let’s face it, some things are just funny. I have belly-laughed with patients and appreciated more than one instance of sarcasm and teasing. Laughter is a great stress reducer and is quite often how patients cope with bad news and hard things. Trust me I have heard my share of blonde nurse jokes- and I’m here for it.

3. Be quiet at the nurses’ station. This is probably so much harder than it sounds. Especially on night shift, nurses are loud when talking to each other. We enjoy our co-workers, for the most part, and we like to visit and discuss things. It is how we de-compress from the stress going on around us. BUT it is extremely rude when looked at from the patient’s perspective. I have had patients tell me that they really enjoy hearing the laughter and camaraderie coming from the nurses’ station, but for the most part I have heard complaints about how loud we are. Shhhhhhhhhhhh

2. Nobody wants to be here. I have learned over the years that nobody wants to be there (except the mama’s delivering babies). The hospital is no fun. In fact, when a patient will apologize to me for being irritable I always say “That’s OK, nobody wants to be here.” and in my head I add “not even the staff.” Whether you are a nurse in a clinic, hospice, home care, hospital, etc., nobody wants to be there. NOBODY!!!! Not even the staff. : )

1. We won’t know their story unless we ask. The #1 thing patients have taught me is that I do not know their real story. I can read their chart, I can get report from another nurse, but unless I ask them questions I will never know them. Patient’s aren’t just the hip or the knee in room 204. They are people with pasts and stories. They have hurts, loves, desires, and losses. They are amazing. But if I don’t personally find out about them I will only be going on what other staff tell me, and that can be riddled with prejudice and judgement. I learned from a hospice medical director that I worked closely with that learning a person’s story is a gift for you and for them.

Being a nurse is a blessing, it is more than a vocation.

Happy Nurses’ Week to all of my nurse friends. I have had the privilege to work with some of the best.