We hold issues in our tissues

I pride myself on being a person who doesn’t feel stress. I am not a worrier and anxiety is not in my “feelings folder.” I am about as even-steven as they come. Not too excitable, not too blue. I have had some very big negative events happen in my life and I have always felt like I just did what I needed to do without being stressed by it. Then wham a year ago I started to experience Vertigo. My attacks of vertigo are not simply dizziness or “the world is spinning.” My vertigo hits me like a ton of bricks. It is full-on nausea and vomiting with any head movement, my eyes move back and forth involuntarily when I move my head. My balance all but disappears, and I get dizzy beyond belief. If I dare to look down the floor rushes up to meet me. The nurse in me is completely fascinated by the process that goes on in my body. How interesting the parasympathetic system is. But putting my fascination aside, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else in the world (well maybe a few people but not many).

What having vertigo has taught me is that I do get stressed. I just don’t feel it as a feeling. My body feels it. My body holds it. My body breaks it down and/or stores it. It stores it in my tight shoulders and low back. It stores it in my clenched jaw and my migraines. My vertigo seems to be caused by pressure in my neck reaching a level that my vagus nerve gets compressed. My stress shows up in heart-rate, breathing, and appetite.

I can deny that I am stressed all I want; however, my body betrays me.

But is it really a betrayal or is it her taking care of me? My body absorbs the hard things and protects my spirit. She takes in all the shit and does her best to work through it and not let it affect my psyche or mood. My body is amazing and so is yours.

What can we do when our body is dealing with our life on a tissue and cellular level? When our muscles hurt and things become dislocated and painful. We can breath. Inhale deeply filling up your entire lung field, slowly/deeply. Exhaling completely, pushing air out longer than usual. Repeat. We can move- exercise that works and inspires us- walking, biking, yoga, swimming, palates. We can sleep. We can rest. We can laugh. We can eat food that nourishes our body and our soul. We can surround ourselves with those that give, not just take. Massage. Hobbies. Reading. And probably most importantly we can address the stressful situations. Talk therapy, friends, journaling; and most definitely acceptance- no more denial.

If your stress if caused by your job in healthcare, you are not alone. Being honest about what is affecting you physically as well as emotionally is important to your health and welfare.